Fishing for Drama
Hot off watching Seaspiracy, Mark and I are no longer eating seafood.
While we mourned the loss of sushi, a different kind of fishnet was making the social media rounds...
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Last Thursday, First Lady Dr. Jill Biden wore patterned stockings while stepping off an airplane.
Don't worry - Trump Nation was there to remind the FLOTUS that her appearance matters above all else. On Twitter they called her everything from a trick-or-treater to a “Madonna Wannabe” (I mean who isn't?), the resounding narrative being that 69 is too old for fishnets.
While annoying, the backlash is entirely expected. First lady scrutiny is nothing new. In 2009 Michelle Obama was called out for wearing a sleeveless dress that many thought was too revealing. Today we remember her muscular arms as iconic.
In relation to the fishnets, commenters used Melania as a direct comparison. They cited photos of her in designer outfits, implying that Jill Biden has cheap taste. For some, Melania is the prime example of first lady decorum - styled and silent.
It didn’t take long for Biden supporters to remind everyone that Melania has nude photos online. What’s a pair of patterned tights next to a centrefold?
I'll save you some time: the entire story turned into a pissing contest about everyone's opinions on how these women should look, dress, and act.
The debate is a pathetic excuse for news, but it highlights a larger issue. The value of first ladies - and women in general - shouldn't be measured by appearance. Moreover, chastity is neither something to be compared or a prerequisite for respect.
Lord knows the White House is no stranger to sexually charged men...
As much as I don't like Melania, her past has nothing to do with Jill Biden's leg ware. You can disagree with critics, but tearing down someone else to better your argument rarely helps. In effect, the "what about Melania" tweets were asking us to be equitable in our slut shaming.
Not the rally cry I would go with.
Instead, why not lean on the words of Michelle Obama? When they go low, we go high.
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Swimming with the Fishes
The drama continues with Khloé Kardashian.
A poolside photo of Khloé in a bikini was ‘accidentally’ posted over Easter weekend. Since then the family has been working overtime to get it removed from the internet, stating that “Khloé looks beautiful but it is within the right of the copyright owner to not want an image not intended to be published taken down.”
Of course, the second you say you don't want people to see something, everyone wants to see it. I'd be lying if I said I didn't study the image to understand the Kardashian's panic.
I came up pretty empty-handed.
The picture isn't edited as heavily as the rest of her feed, but that appears to be the only major offence. What's shocking is how good Khloé looks. Beyond her obvious muscle tone and flawless face, she also seems happy. Relaxed, even.
As a brand, Khloé has been all over the body positivity movement. Her clothing company, Good American, is focused on "Representing Body Acceptance.” The website carries sizes 00-24 and spouts a commitment ".. to challenging industry norms to bring you a collection that is 100% inclusive." Recently she also posted about her stretch marks saying that she loves her "stripes."
All of this begs the question, why is this photo such a big deal?
We've come to know the Kardashian's as pioneers in embracing curves. Before "thick" was a compliment we strived for thigh gaps and exposed hip bones. These sisters came in with hyper-feminine aesthetic that altered our entire understanding of sexy.
The Kardashians have since become modern day Jessica Rabbits with waists as narrow as their contoured noses and bulging chests, butts, and lips. They've evolved into an archetype of the perfect woman - soft and severe in exactly the right places. We sometimes forget that there are real people behind the filters, FaceTune, and poses.
Often, I think they hope we do.
As mannequins the Kardashians have cracked the code on endorsing products. They show us an idealized beauty that’s just real enough to convince us we can have it too. We buy Kim’s shapewear to have her body. Lip kits gave us all fillers from home.
The sales come from being unattainable. An un-edited photo doesn't fit that fantasy.
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When Will My Reflection Show…
Khloé's photo cover-up brought pointing fingers with it. Fans and opinion writers were quick to comment on her ‘moral responsibility’ to portray a healthy body image. Many noted the hypocrisy in building a brand based on inclusion while always having to be perfectly edited. We also can't forget all the cosmetic surgery Khloé's accused of having.
Like the fishnet vs. nudity debate, it's odd to scrutinize Khloé's commitment to body positivity by shaming how she represents her own body or how much work she may have had done. It’s an archaic ‘eye for an eye’ approach. If you aren't doing enough to make us feel better about ourselves, we're going to make you feel worse about yourself.
The photo is only bad because Khloé thinks it's bad. Many of us would kill for a candid like that - harsh lighting and all. I find it sad that she doesn't like the way it makes her look, but her opinion matters. We've all seen a photo of ourselves that we hate despite people saying it's nice. Everyone is entitled to present themselves the way they think is most flattering.
How do you think it would feel to not live up to the beauty standard you and your family created? I bet the need to look perfect is deeply engrained in all of them.
More distressing is how we've turned a blind eye to our complicity in her insecurities. Sure the Kardashian built their brand on their looks, but we've been commenting on their appearances for years.
We've all watched Framing Britney Spears by now right? At what point do we stop harassing women for having imperfections or changing their appearance? At what point do we honour a celebrity's requests for privacy? Being a follower does not give us the right to unload all of our opinions.
The piece I want everyone to remember is that Khloé Kardashian doesn’t owe us shit. The bitch is running an empire, she doesn't need to show off her body in a way that makes us feel empowered. If you don’t like how she represents herself, unfollow.
As I was writing this week, Khloé came out with her own statement that I think beautifully articulates everything I want to say:
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Catch of the Day
You probably noticed that I didn’t include any of the photos I wrote about this week. As a reader, I bet that was annoying.
It was also intentional.
You don’t need to see the photo to understand the story. Our morbid curiosity wants to find it, attack the flaws, and discern whether or not the decision was justified. We want to compare and fantasize about what we would do in that situation.
Would you embrace your cellulite for the greater good of the people?
The Sparknotes is this: Jill Biden felt cute, Khloé didn't. We should be able to respect that at face value.
To sneer at fishnets and judge comfortability is fixating on the wrong parts of the story. Telling Jill Biden that she looks trashy is a slippery step away from victim blaming for wearing a short skirt. Telling Khloé to strip away her filters for our benefit completely discredits her experience and insecurities.
These are real people.
There is joy, love, and substance in these women that is more interesting than their outfits or editing skills.
Here's a story I would have preferred to make headlines this week:
Right before Jill Biden was captured in her fishnets, she pulled an April Fools Day prank on her staff, Secret Service, and travelling reporters. The 69-year-old disguised herself as a flight attendant and served everyone ice cream.
Adorable
In her words 'the White House is a serious place, with serious people, doing serious work. If you're not careful, it can grind you down.'
When I see stories comparing women and poking at their insecurities for sport, I'm reminded that the world can be a serious place too. Let's not make it any more serious than it needs to be.
