The Pageantry of World Peace
Amidst the chaos of the pandemic, pending war, and Putin, the Miss World Pageant reigned on. This year, world peace was a more prominent theme than ever before.
Last Wednesday, Miss Poland sported her winning crown in front of a screen that read “a prayer for world peace.” A past winner sang a rendition of Celine Dion’s “The Prayer.” 7000 candles peppered the audience.
Not a sliver of irony was found.
We all know the stereotype of beauty queens. Miss Congeniality showed us a parade of skinny women taking turns on the mic to share their deepest, most personal desires. Namely, world peace.
The joke is so widespread that I’m surprised Miss World even tried to discuss Ukraine with any sincerity. What a beauty pageant plans to do to help the situation is beyond me. The CEO echoes my sentiment in saying:
“We must do something, even if it may seem never enough to light one candle, if we all light a candle together, we can change the world."
She also encouraged viewers to "shine their light for Ukraine" by posting on social media, begging the question of who these posts are actually for. People under attack, or the Miss World brand?
Trying on work clothes in 2022
Swimwear
Using political topics as marketing material is nothing new. Lest we forget the Pepsi BLM miss or the Green M&M’s de-yassification. Brands are struggling to stay on top of the news, each one clawing to be the most woke and the most aligned with Gen Z values. Often, they completely miss the point.
For example, there’s a full Twitter account dedicated to exposing the hypocrisy of companies talking about International Women’s Day while paying female employees less than their male counterparts.
Struggling the most to stay afloat are companies that relied heavily on the commodification of women. The Victoria Secret fashion show is a relic of a past that glorified skinny above all else. To stay ahead of the curve, Miss America swapped swimsuits for political commentary in 2018. Contestants are now required to answer an interview question instead of flaunting their bellybuttons.
Brains are more in-vogue than spray tans.
Hilariously, competition has always been about scholarship assistance. The Miss America Organization is a non-profit meant to advance the education of young women. In fact, Miss America awards over $5 million annually through national, state, and local programs.
This detail is often forgotten in pageant parodies. We’ve been trained to see beauty queens as airheads. When it comes to women, we still believe there are two camps: sexy and smart.
Physical displays like the Miss America and Miss World pageants haven’t traditionally helped the narrative…
Today, however, they are trying to keep up with the times. 100 years into its reign, and Miss America is focusing on the multifaceted parts of women. You can be smart and beautiful – just look at our contestants. The Miss World winner is presently studying for her master’s while working as a model.
Unfortunately, the choice to cover up contestants directly led to a massive decline in viewership. How shocking…
The draw of beauty pageants, unsurprisingly, is beautiful women. Similarly, no one wanted a version of the VS fashion show that included a segment on how the models were planning to vote in the next election.
If we wanted to hear great political commentary, we’d tune into a podcast.
Alaskan Lizzo
Talent
Miss America’s website states that the organization’s mission is to prepare great women for the world and prepare the world for great women.
In theory, this is true.
As a title winner, you dive headfirst into philanthropy. The job of Miss America is to be a representative of the non-profit and their partner charities. The organization also encourages a Social Impact Initiative, which is essentially their version of a first lady project.
Pageant queens are provided scholarship money and a platform to do good, which in turn opens doors for careers in public life, philanthropy, or academia.
To win those luxuries, however, we are pitting women against each other in a battle of looks, lip pouts, and legs. Miss America isn’t preparing the world to accept these women as they are. First, they need to get into full drag to convince us they’re worthy of the opportunity.
We are preparing women for a world where the path to success is walked in high heels with a slight wave to the crowd. In so doing, we’re preparing the world to expect nothing short of perfection from women.
Not only can you have it all. You must have it all.
I oscillate in thinking that I would like pageants more if they were upfront about their intentions. Wanting to find the hottest woman in the world and give her money feels more genuine than pretending we care about these interview questions.
We want to be entertained, and the most entertaining should get the cash. Isn’t that what reality tv is all about?
On the other hand, showcasing the intelligence of these women is a step toward a more empowering experience. That said, nothing else about the structure has changed. No more doors have been opened, and flaunting these leadership qualities is purely for show. It’s not as though we’re sending the best interview responses straight to the United Nations. No political leaders are tuning in to help beef up their staff.
We’re making contestants dance for our own amusement and framing it as feminism.
Miss Congeniality
Miss World isn’t the only one chiming in on the war. On social media, I’m flooded with commentary about Ukraine, COVID, and really any other world issue you can think of.
At the same time, everyone’s account is simultaneously screaming that their lives are perfect. LinkedIn is a cesspool of “look how amazing I am.” Instagram is a flurry of March break beach photos.
We know how fake and harmful social media is, but it doesn’t mean we stop engaging. No one wants acquaintances leering in on the mundane parts of their lives. I’d much rather have people ask me about my upcoming book, my vacation, or that sweet outfit I had on last Tuesday than about the spoonful of peanut butter I just dropped on the floor. As a result, we intentionally curate out everything we don’t want to be seen.
By extension, we also curate in everything we want to be associated with. Hordes of users regularly feel the urge to claim their allegiance to various causes.
I’m anti-vax. I’m anti-racist. I’m aware.
The result is a newsfeed filled with memes, beauty tips, political misinformation, and ads all in the span of seconds. It also creates an unbelievable pressure to have the best answer, outfit, and audience for everything. People are commenting about world peace simply because it’s what’s expected of them.
It’s definitely not because they’re qualified.
Similarly, out-of-touch celebrities insist on pointing fingers through my phone screen. Kim Kardashian recently told Variety that she has the best advice for women in business:
“Get your fucking ass up and work. It seems like nobody wants to work these days..."
I quite like Kim K. I’ve never watched her show, and I don’t follow her on Instagram, but I respect anyone who takes a sex tape and turns it into over 1 billion dollars. I love even more that she’s striving to work on criminal justice reform. Kim is a big-booty lawyer-to-be with a shapewear brand, and that’s pretty badass. Pete Davidson recently branded himself with her name.
Say what you will, but this bitch is cool.
She also lives in a different reality.
Kim’s comments have led to an intense amount of backlash. Working women are, rightfully, pissed. What could a billionaire possibly understand about the stress of shift work? In general, celebrities commenting on world struggles isn’t useful. How many benefit concerts of famous people singing Hallejula need to exist before we recognize that they are too far removed for us to care?
Is Miss World helping or hurting when she cries out for world peace?
The obvious answer is not to make statements about topics you know nothing about. It’s impossible to have educated opinions on everything, despite what Instagram stories may tell you. Until a few weeks ago, I probably couldn’t have pointed to Ukraine on a map.
I suspect most of the accounts I see posting couldn’t have either.
When you show up dressed way more casual than everyone else
The Crowning
The future of pageants is murky. Surely if they didn’t already exist, we wouldn’t invent them today, which is telling enough.
For the last 100 years, Miss America and the likes have been trailing behind feminism. They offer support to young women who are willing to fall into their narrow view of perfection. You must be demure, graceful, fit, stunning, and have an inherent kindness. You must have a pension for world peace.
Pageants have created a pleasing picture of what female leaders are meant to be. Per the Miss America song lyrics:
There she is, Miss America
There she is, your ideal
With so many beauties she took the town by storm
With her all-American face and form
While I disagree with the image, I am grateful this avenue has existed since the 20s. Scholarship funds are nothing to sneeze at. Strutting around in swimwear in exchange for school without debt is a no-brainer.
Pageant organizations are only messing with this formula to ensure their longevity. Unfortunately, the desperation shows. In trying to evolve, Miss America has lost the essence of what the pageant is. They’ve Frankenstein-ed a beauty contest with a leadership conference, and neither work particularly well.
It’s not inclusive enough to be uplifting, and it’s not ridiculous enough to be entertaining. This is one instance where you can’t have it all. If you’re a beauty show, stay in your lane and leave the current affairs alone. If you’re a launching pad for female leaders of the future, get rid of the fitness component and bring in decision-makers who can get these women jobs in places that actually affect change.
There’s enough to work on in your own organization before you try to tackle world peace.
From my living room window, I can see a condo balcony with the Ukrainian flag. It’s a small token, though much more personal than an Instagram story or plea from a pageant contestant. It’s a real, tangible effort.
You don’t need 7000 candles, a ballad, or a full social media campaign to show support for people in need. Wishing for peace reads better without ploys for personal gain.
Not everything needs the pageantry.
