New Puppy, Old Tricks

Move over Nigerian princes, pandemic puppy scamming is the hot new internet scheme!

With everyone stuck at home, con artists have found out how to exploit people's loneliness by selling non-existent dogs online. While the desire to buy an impulse puppy is intense, maybe COVID is the catalyst we all needed to be smarter in our pet purchases.

Dog Days of Summer

For over 6 months COVID has relegated us to a collective time out. Between puttering around the apartment and putting off house work, I have to say it's gotten a little boring. I can't imagine how much worse it would be living by myself.

Luckily, you can buy companionship.

People are lonely, and the pet business is booming. Animals are a miracle cure for stress, and right now any serotonin boost is welcomed. Besides, getting a furry companion is doubly appealing when you have nothing but time to take care of it. Thought a dog was too much work before? Now that we've spent over half the year in tie dye sweat suits, the time is nigh.

Canadians jumped on this trend pretty quickly. Back in May Humane Canada reported an increase of adoptions between 20% and 60% across the country. That's a lot of dogs!

Personally, I've noticed the uptick. My instagram has been flooded with post after post welcoming new critters to the family. In the middle of a world crises, it feels like we're having a millennial baby boom.

*I went to a Recess* *fan site* *for this beauty*

K9 Crime Unit

With so many people looking for companions, the scum of the internet had no choice but to get involved.

We all know how easy it is to find photos of cute dogs online. It’s just as easy to post them. This newsletter is evidence enough that it’s not hard to fake looking professional. Many of these scammers will build email addresses and websites to make themselves look like credible dog breeders.

The key is this, fake breeders post ads that include elaborate stories as to why they can’t keep their amazing new puppy or litter. They have to move, their child is sick, they have crazy work hours, a family member died etc… Anything that will pull at the heart strings of a potential pet owner. During a pandemic there's no shortage of sad stories, so all of these seem more plausible.

Moreover, with transactions limited to online and social distancing measures, COVID became a perfect storm for puppy-scammers to thrive. They now had a built-in excuse as to why they couldn't allow for visits and in-person transactions. Instead, they convince people to pay upfront for a dog they promise to send.

Scammers then artfully build lies around those shipping details. The airline has intense requirements because of COVID, I didn’t realize there would be this extra fee, added paper work, additional shots required for your location etc.. Stringing along the buyer to keep handing over more and more cash for a dog that never existed in the first place.

Here’s the kicker - if you don’t send the money, scammers will claim they can report you for “animal abandonment”, forcing victims to continue payments out of fear. How sneaky.

And this isn't a small issue. In fact. the Better Business Bureau reports that Canadians have been tricked out of about $300,000 this year trying to buy dogs from fake breeders. That's over double the amount compared to all of last year.

It's also roughly the amount I've spent on unnecessary lounge wear throughout this pandemic...

While it's easy to think that we would never fall for a scam like this, we also have to remember that the victims believe there is a helpless puppy at the end of this chain. Sure, this person from Kijiji turned out to be a hassle. And sure, getting a dog shipped in during a global pandemic is more expensive than you thought. But it will all be worth it when that furry bundle of joy bounces through your condo, right?

Cruella De-Mills

It's important to note that an increase in puppy demand doesn’t immediately create more supply. Puppies are living creatures that have to be birthed, so it’s not as simple as getting in a new shipment.

Buying from a breeder has never been my jam. Sure, they can guarantee you a specific breed, something hypoallergenic, a family history, yada yada yada, but the honest truth is that a lot of breeders are sketchy af. Even the real ones. (I’m sure yours is fine, don’t @ me if you stan pure-bred dogs.)

Puppy mills and backyard breeders are often one and the same. They are businesses. The more puppies they generate, the more cash they make. A simple equation. While scammers may be cornering in on the COVID market, don't think that savvy breeders haven't tried to up their numbers to catch up with demand.

Unfortunately, that type of thinking often leads to mistreatment, overcrowding, and potentially sick pups. If you have litters popping up every few weeks, it’s tough to ensure every dog is getting proper care. It's even tougher to make sure your momma dogs are healthy and happy. Even the happy-go-lucky older couple you know who breeds their dogs on the side (does everyone know someone like this?) are jeopardizing the welfare of their animals by encouraging (or forcing) them to procreate time and time again.

Of course, there are other ways these mills and breeders trick dog lovers. For example, teacup breeds have become their own kind of scam. The demand has gotten high for teeny-tiny pets, so some breeders have come up with new ways to keep dog-size down. Specifically, they will intentionally remove dogs from “the mother’s womb early to restrict its size.”

Horrifying.

That's an extreme example, but sick puppies often come from sketchy breeders. If they aren’t socialized properly, you may end up with a behaviourally challenging pup. If you do end up buying a poorly cared for dog, you could end up paying way more in medical bills than you bargained for. And, guess what? The nonprofits who can step in to help with your animal care likely won’t if you purchased from a breeder. Rover.com puts it pretty flatly: “we ask people to adopt puppies from shelters; if they choose not to listen to our advice, they’re on their own”

There is no way to trust where your dog is coming from unless you tour the facility and meet the puppies in person. Simple as that. Even pet stores are known to get dogs from less-than-reputable breeders. The only way to know for sure, is to check it out yourself.

Hey, we’ve all been there. You find a cute sweater co-ord and some cozy sets for fall. But you’ve never ordered from the site before and the reviews are hit and miss. Do you take the risk? It’s one thing to gamble on knits, but it’s a whole other issue when living creatures are involved.

In an era where going to the grocery store feels like a full military operation, how do you quality control your puppy purchasing?

A good rule of thumb is to always ask for vet records. Even if you can't meet in person, schedule a video chat with your pup-to-be. It's also worthwhile to look for a breeder with limited dogs. If you have to be on a wait list, at least you know the parent dogs are resting.

We don’t want to Handmaids Tale those poor bitches.

“I Don't Mean to Stare, We Don't Have to Breed”

Let’s be clear, dog lovers are getting scammed because they are looking for specific breeds. No one spends thousands of dollars on a mutt, so what is it about pure bred dogs that have people losing money hand over fist?

According to some, breeding proper pooches is a sport, and one with a huge legacy at that. The Westminster Dog Show is officially celebrating 135 years of tradition. On its surface, this is exactly the kind of "sport" I want to get behind - dogs prancing around an arena next to women in pencil skirts. Truly a dream.

Watching the dog show this past year was one of my favourite early 2020 memories. Mark and I got high and judged the dogs with glee. "What a terrible trot, you call that a heal?!?" We were rooting for Daniel, the most perfect golden retriever you ever did see. But the announcers were quick to let us know how unorthodox it would be for a golden to win.

You see, the show isn’t about cute dogs, it’s about breed. Whichever animal holds up to the standards of its initial breed is the winner. A dog show is essentially seeking Plato’s Form of each kind of dog.

I know that was a pretentious reference, but we’re talking about a pretty pretentious event.

All that is to say that even this perfect face:

Could lose to this literal monster:

And that's because of nothing more than breed standards. That poodle looks, walks, and stands like a poodle. Simple as that.

Of course, this also means that nothing other than the best pure bred dogs are invited to compete. A million terriers, not one cavapoo.

I guess that elitist quality isn't surprising considering how the show was started. Back in 1876, "a group of “sporting gentlemen” would gather at the bar of the Westminster Hotel to talk about hunting and boast about their hunting dogs." Honestly so damn lame.

I don’t want to get political, but there is something icky about the way this reads, especially when we know that all dogs are awesome. I would love a dog show with an inclusivity message. Is it crazy to be advocating against dog racism? Maybe. But all dogs go to heaven, so why can’t any dog win the show?

Adopt Don’t Shop

This is Bruce. Bruce is the best bunny in the whole world (I'm biased, but look at that face!). He's also a total mutt. I found Bruce in the adoption centre of Petsmart 4 years ago. Who knows why or how, but someone left him at the Humane Society.

While I see the appeal of a brand new puppy in exactly the right breed for your aesthetic, there are lots of animals who need homes. Not to mention that pre-loved animals come way cheaper.

Whenever I go into a Winners, I know that the store will tell me what to buy. You can't go into a place like that with a list. You'll only get frustrated and miss out on the really great finds. The key is patience.

Pet adoption works the same way. You might expect to get yourself a Yorkie but fall in love with a Great Dane. If your heart is open to finding a companion, maybe it won't end up being the one you imagined. For example, I never thought I would end up with a man who looks like an extra from The O.C., but here we are. The Montréal Humane Society executive director Élise Desaulniers echoes this same story: "A lot of people come to adopt. Most of them are looking for dogs or cats, but some leave with a turtle — which is amazing.”

And it is amazing! Turtles need homes too, and they can offer the same reprieve from quarantine anxiety if you let them. Not every pet has to be an Australian Shepard.

For the pickier buyers there is still hope. It took months of checking everyday before my grandma and I found her the perfect black lab at the Humane Society, but it was well worth the wait. Not only was it rewarding to bring him home, but the adoption fees of rescue animals are used to save other critters. To me, it's a no brainer.

Am I More Than You Bargained For Yet?

I don’t know about you, but COVID has had me making a lot of impulse purchases. From hair extensions to astrology books, I've kept my credit card on its toes. Hell, just last weekend I bought a full tracksuit from Value Village. #noregrets.

I asked Mark for examples of my dumbest purchases and he gestured to our patio. "Plants," he laughed, "you're totally ill-equipped to take care of these."

He's right. I'm awful with plants. But his thought made me nervous for all these COVID critters. We’ve all had to adjust to a change in lifestyle, so what happens when (and if) things get back to normal?

Separation anxiety is a real concern for pets. Just like kids, dogs thrive with routine. Disrupting their schedule can leave pets stressed, causing them to act out and develop bad habits. That said, being home with a new pet 24/7 sets up some pretty unrealistic expectations. Dogs are going to have a hell of a time adjusting when owners start going back to work.

There's also the fear of over commitment. Sure, it's fun to have a puppy running around when you're stuck at home, but what about when that same dog starts peeing all over the floor whenever you leave? There's no way to know if these dogs were impulse purchases or not, and, unlike my hair extensions, you can't just throw a new pet in the back of the closet for eternity. Like most things, pet ownership looks cuter on instagram, and I worry that a lot of these COVID pups will end up needing new homes.

Bunnies are a great example of pet ownership gone wrong. Most people have no idea how to care for a rabbit and often think of them as glorified hamsters. The issue is that rabbits require a moderate level of work. Every year for Easter herds of parents buy real bunnies for their kids not knowing what they're signing up for.

Rabbits can live for 10-12 years, need to be neutered, get their nails trimmed, be litter trained, and bunny-proofing your living space is an ordeal. This is all a huge shock for someone expecting a cheap thrill in an egg basket. Rabbits also become little assholes around puberty if you're slow to get them fixed. For example, I had a bunny that used to hump my favourite pair of slippers and grunt at me whenever I tried to take them away.

Moreover, rabbits live in a state of fear. Almost everything eats them, so it takes a long time to build a bunny's trust. Often they spend their days hiding, which is definitely not the snuggly surprise parents were envisioning for their kids.

So every year the same story unfolds. Family buys rabbit - rabbit is more work than expected - family abandons rabbit - shelters are overrun. A very sad circle of life for these Easter bunnies.

As someone who grew up with animals, I don’t feel like my space is complete without a pet. The caveat is this, pets are messy. From hair, to accidents, to the chew marks on my ottoman (Bruce!), the chaos of a creature is part of the experience. When one of my childhood dogs got old, she had to wear underwear to stop her from chewing a boil on her hind leg. Then she started sneezing blood across our walls and carpets. It wasn't glamours, but you can’t anticipate the kind of care that happens 12 years down the road.

Part of what you sign up for are the vet bills and the destruction. I’ve had rabbits chew through our TV cable, an ex-boyfriend’s show laces (thanks for that one Bruce!), library books, you name it… To me it’s worth it, and luckily my partner agrees. I’d happily replace a thousand ottomans to snuggle with that bunny's face everyday.

But not everyone shares these same sentiments. Some people are allergic, some don’t understand the level of work and care, some will have changes in their daily lives that no longer allow for such time. And for others, it’s just more than they bargained for.

As we adjust back to our regular lives, I hope these pups are taken into account. If you're on the fence about getting a new creature, beware of scammers and sketchy breeders. Or maybe just consider a turtle instead.