Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
The Finnish prime minister, Sanna Marin, has been heavily criticized after a video of her partying was posted online. She was forced not only to apologize but also to take a drug test.
Critics complain that the footage is unbecoming of a leader. Aghast, they scream, “what if she had to be called into work?” It’s somehow unacceptable for her not to be composed at all times.
In their view, there is no room for fun in politics.
At least if you’re a woman.
Every last one of my braincells vibin’ to the corn song on TikTok
“Relatability” used to be something politicians strived for. The presidential candidate you wanted to have a beer with was the more attractive option. Trump’s success is often attributed to his ability to speak to the people. He uses crude, familiar language that endeared him to working class straight-shooters.
Hilary Clinton, by contrast, was often dinged for being too robotic.
When talking with reporters Marin said ”I hope that in the year 2022 it's accepted that even decision-makers dance, sing and go to parties." It seems like a reasonable request. We’ve been asked to accept much worse things from leaders than some silly dance moves. Lest we forget that multiple members of the Supreme Court and Trump have all been accused of sexual assault.
If that illegal activity can fly, I hardly see how a few hip roles can discredit a prime minister’s competence
In fact, Marin has an amazing track record of success. When she became prime minister at 34, she was the world’s youngest elected leader. Marin has since led the country through COVID, guided Finland to join NATO, and improved parental leave for both mothers and fathers.
So, are critics actually concerned about her ability to perform, or are they just angry seeing a successful woman let loose?
Choosing between the group photo or the thirst trap I took in the bathroom mirror
Does This Personality Go With My Outfit?
Women are only allowed to be one thing at a time. You’re either a virgin, or you’re a whore. You’re the girl next door, or you’re a seductress.
You’re Betty, or you’re Veronica.
These categories extend to all women: moms can’t be sexy unless they’re MILFs, at which point they become terrible moms. Pop stars can’t also be artists - they’re just the puppets we see on stage. Models must be stupid, or else why are they relying on their looks? Good girls don’t have strong opinions, because that would be contrarian….And on and on it goes.
The thought that Elle Woods can be girly, hot, and smart is the entire joke of Legally Blonde.
In real life, navigating these dichotomies is exhausting. No one is purely one thing all the time. There are inherent contradictions between being a corporate woman and being a friend who attends raunchy bachelorette parties.
In my personal life, I write about intense topics of sexual assault, misogyny, and the impacts of trauma. I also dance in high heels and underwear for fun.
Couple that with being a children’s author, and I worry that my hobbies disqualify me from having a voice with kids.
To me, these parts of my life work in tandem. Dance is healing. Feeling sexy in a space with other women is overwhelmingly empowering. For our whole lives, we’re preyed on by the gaze of men. As children, we learn that our bodies hold something men want, often before we understand how or why. Having space to express sensual movement without fear of unwanted attention is unbelievably thrilling. I can shake my ass simply because it’s fun.
That same love of being goofy and free is what inspires me to write for kids. It’s a magical feeling.
For many, my hobbies are a contradiction. Wanting respect while dancing sexy is asking too much. Remember, you only get to be one thing.
Since I don’t know which boxes apply to me, my personality can feel like slipping into different skins. Women have become masters of choosing characters based on their environment, but those shells shift as we figure out who we are. The “good girl” I was in high school drastically evolved when I started partying. Immediately my reputation transitioned from virgin to slut. The person I am today is measured and regimented - a far cry from the university girl who lived at the bars.
Scrubbing my old self from the internet would involve tracking down every single club photographer in Ottawa. Since that’s not possible, we all live with a slight fear that shards of our former selves will be flung back in our faces. Everything is documented and primed to rip apart the character you’re living in now.
I try to resist censoring the contradictions in myself. I want to take pride in sharing what brings me joy, no matter how conflicting they seem to other people. Dance, writing, drinking with friends - all of it is part of me.
In politics, we’re finally seeing younger women at the forefront who embrace a similar attitude. We get to vote for female leaders who live rich, multi-faceted lives.
Clearly, not everyone is ready for that.
Me still being surprised when a dude turns out to be creepy
Trenches, Guns, and Pictures of Bums
*** This section has a trigger warning***
The video of Sanna isn’t the first image of a female politician to be weaponized. Since Millennial women started taking office, revenge porn has threatened to push them out.
Three years ago, Katie Hill resigned from congress after compromising photos were shared by her ex. The media went ballistic. In her final statement, she said,
“I’m leaving because of a misogynistic culture that gleefully consumed my naked pictures, capitalized on my sexuality and enabled my abusive ex to continue that abuse, this time with the entire country watching...I am leaving because of the thousands of vile, threatening emails, calls and texts that made me fear for my life and the lives of the people that I care about.”
What an innovative way to keep women from decision-making positions….
Revenge porn is really just a shiny new weapon in the arsenal of female degradation. Sharing explicit photos is the quickest way to convince the public that a woman belongs in the “whore” category. Apparently having a body that you’re proud of is the number one way to be discredited.
The Most Hated Man On The Internet started a wave of these attacks by dedicating an entire website to publishing nudes he received from jilted exes. He ruined countless lives without a second thought. To him, the women deserved it.
He went to prison in 2015.
Today, revenge porn is illegal in 46, but not all, states. Still, leaked nudes seem to always find a way onto the internet. The laws also aren’t ironclad. Katie Hill, for example, lost her revenge porn lawsuit in 2021.
In Europe, an older and darker weapon is surfacing. Russian soldiers have been using rape as a war tactic in Ukraine. In one horrific instance, 25 girls and women were raped in Bucha by soldiers who told them they would be assaulted “to the point where they wouldn't want sexual contact with any man, to prevent them from having Ukrainian children.”
Over a third of them are now pregnant.
Historically, rape has been used in genocide to shape future generations with forced impregnation. Even worse, gang rape, which is usually rare, increases during war times as a sick form of bonding between soldiers. It pretty much always goes unpunished.
The weaponization of female sexuality isn’t anything new. Sexual assault and revenge porn are both grim in their own ways, but the worst part is the lasting effects these crimes leave. Not only will survivors carry the trauma with them, but the fear of male aggression ripples throughout our decision-making. How many women will feel safe representing their countries when they open themselves up to attacks on and off the battleground?
When Katie Hill resigned, fellow congresswoman Carrie Goldberg said,
“I fear the chilling effect the attack on Katie Hill will have on other ambitious daring women and members of the L.G.B.T.Q. community thinking about careers in politics...I know that as long as I am in Congress, we’ll live fearful of what might come next and how much it will hurt.”
Just Dance
We live in a time where I generally feel free in my body. I wear crop tops, I dance on stage, and I encourage other women to feel sexy and own it.
Then I read news stories like these, and I remember how quickly my own body can be used against me. Sometimes I think the freedom I feel is an illusion.
I look up to women pushing to be seen as more than one thing. Britney Spears posting nudes after getting out from the control of her father, Lizzo being a wildly successful artist who posts videos of her ass, Sanna Marin sharing some drinks with her friends while off duty all inspire me to do whatever the hell I damn please.
I also see hate spewing across their comment sections and wonder if it’s worth it.
My dance videos from rehearsal, sexy texts to my husband, or just walking the streets with a vagina all have the potential to be twisted into me somehow “asking for it” or deserving shame. At the very least, those parts of my life make me think I’ve already closed doors for myself. You’ll never see me getting into politics.
Across Finland, women have been posting videos of themselves dancing in solidarity with Sanna. They see the ridiculous double standards and want to show that having fun isn’t a crime. No matter how our actions may be pitted against us, at least we can always choose to groove through it together.
Spin that record, babe. And just dance.
