Get Over It
Living up and letting go in a post-COVID, pre-war world.
The 2022 mantra
My brain at all times
Controlla
On Friday my personal laptop stopped working, and I threw a hissy fit. The added time and cost of getting it fixed made me think I should abandon this week’s blog, go dark on social media, and hide in my room for the duration of the weekend. I lost control of my routine, and I couldn’t handle it.
Mark aptly pointed out, “can’t you use your work computer?” I replied by crying into the sink.
My whole life has been this same pattern of stress and release. In university, roommates bore witness to semesterly breakdowns. The weight of my responsibilities reached a peak twice a year, generally before finals. An unexpected deadline or chore would disrupt my perfectly curated calendar, and I would unravel into a sobbing heap of anxiety. After a few hours, I would get right back to work, berating myself for the time wasted.
COVID has only worsened my ability to pivot. I’ve survived these two years by accomplishing something every day, and now the smallest interruption sends me spinning. If an event isn’t in my calendar weeks in advance, anxiety pushes me to decline the invite. When I stay up too late, I stress about losing my morning productivity. I’ve been waiting to renew my driver’s license for months, knowing that the trek to Service Ontario is time I haven’t planned for.
To cope with the world, I’ve been moving forward with my head down. The pandemic mantra has been a chorus of “just keep swimming.” To stop and ponder the ocean around me is to drown in it.
Charli XCX released a documentary of her experience creating a full album during the May 2020 lockdown. I found myself crying along as she shared her belief that work is the only thing that makes her valuable. Without it, she thinks she’s nothing.
By the end of the film, Charli has crafted a flawless album in six weeks. The credits roll and she’s standing in her kitchen with her friends saying “I’m bored.”
Today I’m writing on my work computer. Mark was right, it’s not a big deal. I poured out a little stress from the top of my glass, and now I’m comfortable sloshing around at 95% full.
At least until another unexpected change knocks me over.
Looking at my colour-coded calendar
Thank You, Next
In 2022, I vowed to relinquish a bit of control. I send this blog every Sunday with my own version of a prayer,
Good is good enough. Nothing is perfect. You did it.
Amen.
By Monday, I’m onto the next. Just keep swimming.
There’s a little-known holiday coming up this week that I’m eager to celebrate. March 9th is National Get Over It Day. As the name implies, the day is meant to let something go, be it something small like a computer issue, or more substantial feelings like anger.
The day was created by Jeff Goldblatt in 2005 to motivate himself to get over an ex-partner. As the official website touts,
We can be thankful when it's not Thanksgiving. We can be romantic when it's not Valentine's Day. [And we should appreciate Mothers and Fathers more than 2 days a year!] But, for some reason, it's often just easier (to remember? to prioritize? to commit and actually DO something?) with the help of a specific day, particularly if friends, news outlets, or social media are discussing it!
The website even includes a declaration pdf you can download and share. The whole page looks like it hasn’t been touched since 2005. It’s a time capsule of clunky Facebook graphics. Get Over It Day is dripping in chain mail nostalgia, which is surprisingly fun to revisit.
Sometimes I wonder if the world got out of control because we all stopped believing that forwarding an email could prevent a string of bad luck.
The holiday is hokey, but Goldblatt has a point. An official marker can be a huge motivator to take action. Every new year people make resolutions, right?
Why not shed something on March 9th?
When my husband asks me to do the dishes
Let it Go
I slow down the most when I write. To be relatable or interesting, a writer must connect with their feelings. You relive moments to pinpoint the most accurate emotion. You rewrite hurtful comments exactly as you heard them.
Writing, in large part, is dwelling.
Each week I sit at an empty word document and ponder what to share. Do I reflect on the news? Do I rip open an old wound for new ink? Do I give up?
Britney Spears is embarking on a writing journey that I’m sure will be fraught with trauma. Her Instagram captions are a masterclass in sinking into your feelings. She isn’t holding anything back. Britney is free, and she is processing in real-time. Beach nudes, name-calling, screenshots – nothing is off-limits.
I hope releasing these thoughts brings her peace.
Similarly, Sarah Polley just released a collection of essays based on her most painful memories. While healing from a concussion, her doctor told her to “Run Towards the Danger,” a message she’s extrapolated to heal from past trauma. To her, exploring the worst parts of her life, including her experience with Jian Ghomeshi, allows her to leave those memories “in the past.”
She’s extracting pieces of her history like rotten teeth.
Reality TV shows love to use this model to demonstrate growth. I well up every time I watch someone write down their fears and throw them into the sea, set them on fire, or cover them with paint. The trope is still powerful, no matter how many times I see it repeated.
Posting these blogs is my version of a release. I’m not burning these pages or publishing a tell-all, but posting a few thoughts online is enough to feel like they’ve been exorcised from my brain.
To kick off the Get Over It Day celebrations, here’s a list of what I’m letting go of this March.
My rigid calendar
Tallying accomplishments as part of my value
Thinking that having fun is going to limit my progress
My personal laptop….
Swimming is what got me through the pandemic, but this spring feels like the beginning of the end (for real this time). As we thaw out of our seasonal depression and isolation my new mantra is to stop swimming and to float.
Good is good enough. Nothing is perfect. You did it.
What about you?
