Autumn Goodbye
On September 29th Jamie Spears was suspended as Britney's conservator, and I happy-cried on a Toronto sidewalk. This Autumn Goodbye is ushering in a new season for Britney, and it only gets better from here.
Byyyyeeee Jamie
Jamie’s out, but the conservatorship is still standing. At least for now.
Its termination was also discussed on Wednesday, but that decision will be revisited on November 12th, just in time for Britney’s fortieth birthday.
While 40 days seems like a lifetime away, there’s a huge benefit to delaying the end of the conservatorship. Jamie must now hand over all of the records, emails, and texts from the last 13 years to his stand-in. Any bad deeds happening behind closed doors will now be on display, and honestly, I’m willing to bet it’s worse than we all thought.
Even before the ruling, Controlling Britney Spears revealed major legal concerns in the handling of her case. A past member of her security team told the documentary that the team had secretly recorded 180 hours of Britney’s private conversations including those with her legal representation and from inside her bedroom. They also uncovered emails where her lawyer was assured that none of her communication was being surveilled.
This is Criminal.
With all these records to sift through, Britney will hopefully be able to seek damages or criminal charges against current and former members of her team. The Wallets, Lou’s, and Larry’s who resigned early are still on everyone’s Radar, and we’re transitioning into a season of justice. The Britney Army is ready to go into war.
Personally, I’ve just begun (having my fun).
In the meantime, Britney is celebrating by posting nudes in the tropics with her fiancé. If that ain’t freedom, I don’t know what is.
Me finding a way to bring up Britney Spears in every meeting
Living Legend: You Can Look But Don’t Touch
I made the rookie mistake of reading the comments on Britney’s nudes. Many fans and celebrities offer well wishes, but the vast majority talk about the pictures being edited, her lack of class, and what her children will think about the raunchy images.
People expect, like they always have, that it’s Britney’s job to be America’s sweetheart.
This woman has gone through unspeakable trauma, not only through the strict regime of her conservatorship but via tabloid coverage and paparazzi pursuits that spanned all of her formative years. Behind the scenes, Britney has been fighting legal battles since her divorce from Kevin. Her children have been used as pawns to control her behaviour, her every movement has been surveilled or reported on, and the non-stop years of touring, recording, and working started when she was still a teenager. She said herself that she is traumatized, cries every day, and is scared of people after what she’s been through.
Britney has never had a say in what she was allowed to do with her time or her body, so who the fuck is anyone to judge what she does with it now?
The backlash is infuriating, but not surprising.
We like to imagine victims as jumpy, scared, and on the brink of tears. Anything that deviates from the script is automatically worth our critiques. In reality, coping with trauma can wreak havoc on relationships, mental health, and even personal identity. It’s a murkier process than we want to believe.
For example, many victims of sexual assault lean into hyper-promiscuity to reclaim their sexual identity. Often they fall into cycles of abuse or overtly sexualized behaviour that compound the trauma. Similarly, PTSD sufferers put themselves into dangerous situations as a way to avoid dealing with their trauma. It’s the exact opposite reaction of what we come to accept as “normal” victim behaviour.
What’s the correct way to handle a 13-year-long wrongful conservatorship case, continual tabloid slander, and isolation in the public eye? Who the fuck knows. Posting incessant updates, answering random questions, being supercritical or super proud of your body – all seem like reasonable responses to me.
Unsurprisingly, the criticism of her nudes comes from the same people who loved to watch her downfall. Britney has become an endless well of trauma porn. Her old interview footage ushered in media apologies, clips of her breakdown are being shown in a new light, and everyone (including me) is clambering for more juicy gossip on the inner workings of the conservatorship.
Writer Sonia Kovacevic wrote in an article about glorifying trauma:
We should not have to witness people in their most vulnerable and frightened states to believe their pain is real and exists
For Britney, the fan support in her legal case came with rehashings of her darkest days. She’s said that old footage makes her uncomfortable, and she doesn’t want to be known as a victim. We owe her the space and time to heal however she needs to, away from memories of 2007-2008.
Britney’s resilience and drive are unfathomable. I don’t think many of us would have survived what she has. That said, she still needs our compassion as someone recovering from trauma. After what she’s been through, it is not her job to act in the way you deem is most attractive or appropriate.
Her only job is to heal, and it’s time to get to Work, Bitch.
Thinking about her management panicking right now….
Anticipating
It’s a new season for Britney, metaphorically and literally. While we wait for November 12th, I started swapping my sandals for booties. I’m ready for the next stage of #FreeBritney, but the October chill is freaking me out. Not in the good, “I love fall fashion” way, in the “oh fuck are we stuck inside for another winter?” way.
My pumpkin spice lattes are served with heaps of deja-vu.
When I was in New York last week, the energy was different. Masks are ubiquitous, but so are good times. Bars are open, people are out, and progress is happening. I saw artists cry on stage at Governor’s Ball because they were surrounded by fans again. Many declared that the “city is back”. Their healing process has started in a way that we haven’t seen in Toronto, and it’s only going to be harder for us to achieve when the patios close.
Jamie Spears might be out, but this Jamie is horrified of staying in.
For fun I thought I’d reread some of my darker entries from last fall:
It’s hard to come out and say that this is the worst year of my life when I know it’s everyone else’s worst year too. I’m simultaneously comforted knowing I’m not alone and dejected knowing that I’m not special.
Yikes. Can you tell I was depressed?
The difficulty in understanding the collective trauma of something like a pandemic is measuring its long-term effects. We don’t have a control group that isn’t going through this alongside us, so any wide-scale changes become the new norm.
Our healing is the opposite of Britney’s. No one can fully understand her experience, whereas everyone had something affected by the pandemic. That said, every healing process is non-linear and unique to the individual. I’m still stressed about the coming winter, but I know I’m not in the same place as the person who wrote that quote.
One of my favourite newsletters, My Sweet Dumb Brain, explained healing in a metaphor that I’ll never forget:
Imagine your life as a box, and the grief you’re feeling as the ball. Also inside the box is a button that emits pain whenever it gets pushed. Fun!
When you’re at your deepest grief, the ball is huge. It pushes against that button all the time. As you move around, once again interacting with the world, that giant ball jumps and jostles, producing non-stop pain. As time goes on, the ball gets smaller and smaller, and it bumps into that pain button less and less often.
After the last few years, empathy has never been more important. We’re getting through this as individuals, but there's solace in understanding that everyone has their own box with differently-sized balls. As Oprah would say, we need to start asking “what happened to you” more and “what’s wrong with you” less.
Maybe one day Britney will share the full story of what happened to her. Someday, maybe we will understand.
Until then, the least we can do is lead with empathy.
Everyone in Britney’s Army right now
Glory
Looking back on old entries makes me recognize how much can happen in a year. Last fall, for example, people close to the conservatorship were reluctant to share their stories out of fear of Jamie Spears. More damning, the people closest to the conservatorship regularly called the #FreeBritney movement a conspiracy. They created proof-of-life videos and photo ops from her forced stay in the mental health facility, and continually cast doubt on anyone critical of the arrangement.
Calling myself a #FreeBritney supporter used to come with questions like, “have you ever thought that maybe she’s just crazy.”
Now she’s on track to be free by 2022.
The momentum doesn’t stop here: movements like #FreeAmanda are well underway, and fans have expanded their focus to include conservatorship abuse at large. In the United States, there are around 1.5 million people held under conservatorships. While the system is designed to protect vulnerable people, many guardianships are cover-ups for fraud and abuse. Britney’s case is highlighting major holes that have been allowing non-famous people to be exploited for decades. For all that we don't understand about her case, there are dozens more victimizing regular people.
On Thursday the #FreeBritney Bill was signed into law in California. The legislation will allow conservatees to choose their own legal representation and force inexperienced guardians to undergo professional training when taking on large estates.
Britney is also looking ahead. Yesterday she wrote on her Instagram:
Although there is change and things to celebrate in my life, I still have a lot of healing to do 🌳 !!! Thankfully I have a good support system and am taking time to understand it’s ok to slow down and breathe 🧘♀️ !!!!! Only through self love I can pray … love … and support others in return !!!!
A year from now, who knows where she will be. Her dad won’t have any idea, and that is a huge win.
To end on one final lyric: Jamie Spears, we never promised you a happy ending.
*Bonus points for catching all the song references
